we write our own chapter in this life...filled with great memories....sad goodbyes....and all the while this old world keeps turning until one day you hear something that literally makes the world stop...or at least your heart stops beating for a few seconds and it feels like the world stopped turning...
Remember me talking about the oldest Burly and his latest news...well it was just last week...Memorial Day to be exact...tents set up in the back yard...grill going...tables filled to the brim with BBQ and all the fixings...family all over the back yard...what more could a mama ask for...even my parents and some friends were here with us..yes it was just a glorious day...evening comes along and the gang starts packing up and calling it a day..I am on the porch with mama & daddy and everyone is huddled around....Oldest Burly's beautiful wife is saying goodbye....I should have feel the wind change directions....my 'mom' radar should have detected lurking thing I feared most coming...but nooooo being the mushy..love my babies to death...always want to be able to spread my wings and shelter them mother hen type...my heart is just swelled to the brim with joy....then it happens.....
Out of the blue she says they are moving to MONTANA!!! At that moment...everything went to slow motion..my heart literally stopped...tears are pouring down my face...I went totally numb...Now oldest Burly moves closer....he looks at her and says 'I didn't think we were gonna tell this right now!' Then he comes around and gets right in front of me...'mama...it'll be aright..it won't be right away'...but in his eyes I saw such a love and also such a pulling in his soul...longing for his dreams yet never wanting to hurt me...at that moment I don't think I was even breathing....beautiful wife then speaks up and says 'we would have done been gone if it wasn't for you...he will never do anything to hurt you'..
It was at that moment I took a breath...what?...what was I hearing?....Tears could not stop...ok girl say something...tell him it is alright....you of all people believe in people following their dreams....you would be the first to tell him to spread his wings and never have regrets...you are not totally out of touch you realize mamas all over this world have kids living all over the world..but you for some foolish reason always thought your babies would always live close by...wasn't that your dream...wasn't that your hope...didn't your heart ache for 5 years as oldest beautiful daughter moved to Oklahoma...then she finally moved back and all was well with the world...now this? My firstborn...my beautiful Burly..
Where are those apron strings...maybe I didn't cut them all the way thru...maybe I can tie a knot...keep him close for alittle longer...not Jay...not my firstborn....he was the first to ever call me mama...he was the one that I made all the mistakes with as a mama...he didn't come with a step by step instruction booklet...he was the first to take those first steps when he was 7 months old...he was the first to wave his little hand as he faced his first day of school as I stood squalling like a baby blowing him kisses and assuring him I'd pick him up in alittle while...he was the first teenager...the first to learn to drive...the first to do things that made me say'beam me up Jesus!'...the first to leave home and go out on his own...the first I ask to forgive me for where I failed him...hoping that he would always know I meant well and loved him more than life...
Will he ever know how proud I am of him...will he ever know what a huge part of my heart he holds...will he ever know how I wish the world for him and how I pray for his peace and happiness..he has always walked to his own drum...he has always loved wide open spaces and frontier life....he has always loved family but for along time there has been a far away look in his eyes...I should have seen it coming...but silly me thought I could keep my little dream world all in one corner...but I'm smart enough to know that God always has a plan for each of us...and above all things I want God's will in my kids lives....sooo I cried and I prayed and I cried some more...then late that evening after everyone was gone...I called Burly and yes I was still crying but I told him to follow his dreams...never let me be the reason to hinder him...this will always be home and we will always be here for him...we talked a long time...I cried...he cried....but in a good way..I told him how much I loved him...how proud I was of him and how that I always knew there was greatness in him......the apron strings hang freely...the apron falls to the floor...those strings are cut for good...but the heart strings can never be severed...
So they put their house and land on the market...I am praying it sells quickly for them...I will be fishing more up at youngest Burly's...it helps sooth me...gives me time alone to pray and talk to God....yes I will still be crying and I will miss them beyond words...little Bella will grow up far away...but it will make for a great road trip and the holidays will sure nuf be a glorious reunion time....so spread your wings my precious firstborn...and may this be the beginning of the happiest time of your life filled with much love and mercy and blessing abundantly...but always know that you are in my heart and that the porch light will always be on....I love you Bubba.. 
39 lil sweet taters came by...:
Oh Picket, I had so hoped for it to be tears of joy. This post is beautifully written. Unlike you my children all have plans to move far away to fulfill their dreams after college. Kaje' to Washington with Jake (after marriage next year of course), Brianna to who knows where when her husband graduates next year and the army puts him where they want him, Nicholas to California with Jill. My Trav is the only hope I have left of him living by me. He just wrote last week that he knows he can never live in Hawaii full-time again. His body just does weird things and it isn't good for his health. He'll visit often though I'm sure but he needs a drier climate.
God bless your sweet heart as you deal with these goodbyes. Thank heavens for email and technology bz that's all that keeps me going with Trav across the ocean and so far away.
Your family loves and adores you (as well they should) and they know your heart. Rest assured they love you every bit as much as you love them.
Oh my, tears are coming to my eyes too! As the mommy of two boys (now grown)I can feel in my heart the pain and mixed emotions you have. Hugs to you - you are a dear mother and I'm certain it will be just as hard for him to follow his dreams and leave his mom. Aren't we luck though to live in a time when travel is so easy. Try to think of all the new adventures you will have and hug him a lot while he's still here. Blessings....
Oh, I feel your pain. It is the hardest part of being a parent...the letting go. And that sweet grandbaby to boot! What a sweet son you have not to want to hurt his mama's feelings. You did right by him I am sure.
I only have one child and he is still in High School and if the day comes he decides to spread his wings I am coming to you for support.
I will be praying for you and your family. From just what I have read from your blog post I KNOW your a WONDERFUL mama so don't ever sell yourself short. You have more love in your soul than anyone I know. Hugs
Awww...((((BIG HUGS)))) I know how you are feeling, I thought my world would end when my son (my only child) joined the Army a year ago, and now he is stationed in Hawaii with a wife and baby on the way, we are in PA, and it is SOooooo far away, but I thank God every day he is there and not somewhere worse such as Afghanistan. You will adjust my friend, and just think...you'll have a new place to go visit:)
You always inspire me when I read your postings, and this time was no different. With tears in my eyes I write this to you. Isn't this what all mommas want for their kids. And boy do I know its hard, but their will be greater joy and greater memories in the future....you can count on it. I pray for you from one momma to another. God Bless You Always! Debbie
What a beautiful lady you are ...heart and soul !I so admire you and your outlook on life .As a momma to one I surely feel you pain.I fear I shall be facing this very thing soon as my son is ready to spread his wings and fly. I pray that the Lord gives you and yours strength in the coming days and months.Hugs,Je
Oh my, I am feeling your anguish. The end of the summer I am packing up my oldest child, my only boy, and sending him away to college in another state almost 10 hours drive by car! On the one hand, we mothers are so excited for our children and the new and exciting challenges in life that awaits for them, and the same time our hearts are being ripped out. I don't know how we get through it, but I guess we do.
Hugs and Blessings to you and your family, Picket!
Tracey
Oh Picket. I can't imagine how you must feel. With Darbee Rae still a little one, I can't imagine her being grown and being far away from me. I hope everything works out for the best for all of you. Thinking of you.
-Holly
Oh Dot ... I know how hard it is to let go. Two of my four children live far away. You are one of the strongest, wisest ladies I know ~ you will do what needs to be done ... and yes, those road trips will be great. Please get Skype and a webcam for your computers! You can visit with your little family each and every day!
Oh, Dot, I don't think anyone could have put into words the way you have what a Mama feels deep down in her heart for her children. My prayers will be with all of you as this transition happens. I know it'll be very, very hard, but when you need to pour out your heart you have alot of broad shoulders to lean on her on your blog. I'm crying so much reading your words of love.
God bless you, Oldest Burly, your family and your sweet,sweet heart.
Susan in Auburn
War Eagle
Oh, my heart just aches for you, I can only imagine how you feel. Your post made me cry. I couldn't be as strong as you if one of my children were to move away. Even going on a vacation has me missing them. You have such a big heart...to tell him to spread his wings and follow his heart. I wish I were more like you!
I wish you peace with everything and I am sending many prayers your way for just that.
XO,
Jane
Oh Picket, I have tears running down my face! I so admire you, the person and the Mama! Your outlook is always an inspiration to me. I know how you feel except I don't have a grandchild in the mix. My firstborn, my son, moved to Fl. this past August. IT was SO hard to see him go. BUT, he is flourishing there, doing what he lOVES and is HAPPY! That really is all we ever want for our kids. Sop, I am happy. And it is amazing, we seem CLOSER than ever! We talk more on the phone, on e-mails etc. He is my wonderful boy, even though he will be 43 in 2 weeks! You are right, the heart strings can never be broken. XOXO, Pinky
As far as I know my kids are going to remain right here in the town where they grew up so why am I sniffing away here? I know! It's your writing and the way you share your feelings so transparently. Here's to Skype and all the ways that it'll be great to have a son following his dreams in Montana.
When my son and his wife moved in 2000 I thought I'd die. They only moved from Montgomery to B'ham but to me it was a world away! They didn't tell me until Thanksgiving and they were moving right after New Year's....I remember we were at my sister's in Talladega for Thanksgiving Day and I was standing at the sink loading her dishwasher when it came out of the blue....all 4 of my kids (SIL & DIL) were standing there to embrace me b/c they knew how hurt I'd be. They are still in B'ham and while I don't see them as often as I'd like, I still miss him.....he's my firstborn too! I feel like I was a baby when I had him although I was 23.
You'll be fine Dot....your heart will hurt for a time but you'll eventually learn to live with it. And I've got a feeling they won't be there forever! He's too much of a Burly boy to stay gone from our wonderful south (and you) too long!!
Judy
There are very few of your posts that don't bring a tear to my eye-they are always from your heart. But, I so admire you and your love of your family and home. I know your strong faith will see you through this. There is only one sure thing in this life besides death and that is that God's plan is not always ours,and we may not understand it but we have to accept it. A big hug to you.
Awwwww! Bless your sweet heart, Dot! I hope it turns out to be a good move for all involved. May you all have peace about this.
I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks. I guess I know I will probbly go through this same thing one day. Most of us do. Just remember that the heartstrings can't be broken, untied or cut.
Hugs!
Dot, I am embracing you right now with a great big hug. What can I say? I have sat here as big tears roll down my checks, too. So beautifully written. It is so easy to say the words, Follow your dreams, But once action is put to the words, that's when he becomes so hard sometime. Your reactions are so normal for any mother who loves and wants to protect her children. Just as a chicken would put the little chicks under her wing. As sad as it is you are so blessed that they are a family, a beautiful family, and will follow their dreams together. And Bella is a doll. She will remember you and will look forward to the visits when you will be together. You and your son and his family will be in my prayers. You have lots of friends in blogland and family and friends that will be here for you. We love ya, girl.
Angela
Thru Nans Window
OH... I feel your pain.
Very Beautiful post....
We have 3 sons... they hunt, fish, ski, hike, kayak... you name it, they do it together...
2 yrs. ago our youngest tells us that they are moving to Colorado... also took my breath away.. they moved to plant a Church. How can you argue with that ?? : ) We miss them everyday, but we talk often & Co. is a place we get to often, so visits are sweet.
We were there 2 wks ago & stayed for 5 days before we left them to go elsewhere in Co. to do a mission project, when we said Good-bye, we were all crying & just down the road son calls & says, "Do you have to leave tonight?" "Can you go in the morning" ? So we turned around & spent one more night with them...
We left early on the morning, while they were still sleeping, so Goodbye wasn't as hard...
I will pray for your sons transition & yours....
PS... Get skype.... Will help with the grandbaby : )
Picket....First off...Hugs!!!
It will be fine. Everything has a reason. And he'll be back, just like Jen. Let Burly boy use his wings you gave him. And now, you'll have a new place to visit.
Lois
Dot, if this was some OTHER Mama writing this I would feel SO much worse than I do--and believe me, I DO! But, as close as your family is and seeing the love you have poured into them is enough to also make me believe you will be OK! Your heart and soul is out there for the world to see and Jay knows you are wherever and whenever you need him to be. HOME is where your heart is and his will be with you and yours with him forever no matter where your HOUSES are.
So many new adventures ahead for everyone and God Bless you I know you will grab them all with both hands!
Make sure you get a Skpe setup for yourself and one for them as a going away gift...you will be able to see them every day still.
Take care ♥♥ and Hugs to you!
Lynne
Your post is beautiful, your news bittersweet. I remember a couple of years ago when one of our girls told us they were moving to KC. And that is just across our state. It just gave me such an ache in my heart. One way or other, they made the move. Not long ago they decided to come back "home". Once again, all the girls and their families live within 30 minutes of us. I often wonder how it would be to have them far from home.
Letting go and allowing them to spread their wings is difficult at any age. Thinking of you!!
I feel your pain! Such a lovely post, but so bittersweet too!
My son and dil live in Phoenix. We live in Wisconsin. It has been a hard adjustment and sometimes I could tear my hair out for encouraging them to go when my son was offered the job. It's been 5 years and their baby is due in July. I think it will be even harder now with a baby coming. But you do adjust and you do make do.
Hugs your way,
Cindy
I know your Mama's heart! My oldest moved far away her first year of marriage. But she came home, and has been here since. I was so sad. But we must let them fly. Good luck to your oldest Burly and his family.
Oh, sweet Pea, my heart aches for you. The tears are flowing here too! this post was so beautifully written from a mother's heart. How sweet you told your son to spread his wings and fly. That is what we teach our children to do, but sometimes we have a hard time letting go. This will be a new journey for all of you, and you will have a new place to visit, and make new memories. God bless you and your family. I have to use anonymous because my blogger won't let me sign in. :(
Love ya girl,
Debbie @ Pink Roses and /Teacups
Iv'e never commemted before, but I love your blog and all of your inspiration. I just wanted to tell you that I am a grandaughter moved away from my Gramma (I'm now a Grammy). Trips to Gramma's at holidays and vactions became the most exciting days of my life. I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach days before each trip. We could spend days and nights together catching up and laughing together. These memories are the best of my life. I even traveled to be married in Gramma's church. I know your heart is ripped out right now, but there are trade-offs that you can't even imagine right now. Distance did not keep Gramma from being the closest person in the world to me. Now there is fast travel and internet and skype. I pray that you will soon find the blessing and gain from your situation.
I can only imagine how you feel, Dot. I can remember the day that my eightheen year old son went into the Navy. I cried all day long. Our family went to see him graduate from boot camp in Illinois.. I cried all the way home to Virginia. He was stationed in Norfolk, Va. and was married and divorced in the four years that he was there..
One thing that you have to be thankful for (I know that there are many more) is that he is married to a beautiful girl and they have a lovely little girl..
I know it is VERY hard to let go.
I think that you've been one of the best Moms that a guy could have. You have let him know that your door will always be open and the light will always be on. There's no place like home and he and his lovely family won't forget that. All roads lead home, you know.
I will be thinking about you and hope that you can find peace with the fact that part of you family won't won't be as near as they used to be.
Blessings to all of the Picket family.
Charlotte in Virginia
You're a wonderful mother, and you are right to let him follow his heart. More than likely one of these days his heart will bring him home again.
I grew up away from our family, and my father's mother always put a guilt trip on him for moving away. I wish she could have found peace in his happiness so she could have been happy, too. I believe she took the joy out of his visits home.
I knew that was gonna be the story Dot, and I know exactly how you feel! My family is like yours, big and close together, it seems almost impossible to imagine any of us moving out of state, kids growing up without their grands being able to see them at the drop of a hat. I know millions do it but I swear I could not. My heart aches for you now but hopefully you will feel the sense of peace knowing Jay is happy in Montana with his little family. It's gotta be so hard for them too ya know! So chin up Dot, you can do this! Love you sweetie!
Oh Dot, i two can feel in my heart the pain and mixed emotions you have. I'm a mom of two grown boys.
I have tears running down my face. What a beautiful lady you are with a wonderful family. This is a very beautiful post today...thanks for shaing your lovely family with us....hugs
Oh Picket, I know it has to be so hard to let go. I remember when my daughter moved out to get her own apartment. I could barely handle the empty room, so I filled it up with another bedroom outfit.
I so feel your pain. God bless your sweet heart!
Hi Dot, distance is only a physical seperation. You will be as close as ever because you will make it so....I wish you all the best! :) Stay strong! Rosie
I remember the first time I read your blog and read back in time as far as they went and how I envied you with your children all around. You wrote me the sweetest letter in response to my comment and told me you didn't know how I could bear everyone being so far away. And now you join me with one child moving away but Dot, we make it and God has His ways of giving me the lessons we couldn't and strengthened us with our own lessons. Keep writing. It helps all of us to go through life together in sharing our joys and our pain. You and yours are in my prayers.
Oh Dot, this was such a touching post... such a bittersweet one to read. I can't only imagine how this is affecting you. I remember how happy you were when your daughter moved back home and all the kids were under your watchful eye again.
I think it's amazing the way you put aside your own wants to give Jay your blessing to move on to greater things.
I can't think of a better mom than you.
Love you,
Justine :o )
Dot, first of all.... I FOUND YOU again!!! Second, I feel for you, girl. My son moved to So. America almost two years ago and that was a BIG, TEARFUL time for me. He is my only son. He is still there, but comes back frequently. Praise God for his visits.
I'm not sure you knew this before you left BLOGLAND, but me and Hubby moved East to the Memphis area to be near my second daughter and family. We have been outside of Memphis about 6 months now and love it. We see our 10 local grandkids frequently AND we have our first GREAT Grandbaby, born 4-5-2011. She is precious! So we have done a LOT of changing and we are truly thriving. :)
I am so glad I went on a Nostalgia Trip last night and found you! I had kept a few of your recipes and when I opened one, I noticed that your youngest girl had a new photo. So out of curiosiity, I found that you had current NEW posts. YIPPEE ... Picket is back in my Blog life. Welcome back and I'm so happy I found you again! You made my day!
"Betty in Oklahoma" has moved to
Tennessee (How about that?)
So Sweet and so true...but it is not good bye it is...until we meet again. Dianntha
You've got me crying like a baby!
I'm glad to see a couple of posts down that you have received peace about it--
I can relate to this a little as my "baby" brother and family live far away in Colorado. Sometimes it's just too far for words to do any good.
Bless you and your sweet family, and you're a good Mama for calling and TELLING him all those wonderful hard to say things!
Dot....my daughter and her fiance are right this day driving cross country on a move to Colorado! That is where my son and DIL and two grandsons have lived for seven years! My daughter loved the state when she visited him and she wanted to live close to him and see her nephews grow up. She and her fiance wanted to get away from the crazy, crowded and expensive New York City and start fresh. So I know completely how you feel! My heart is aching, yet I'm happy for them and want the best for them as they follow their dreams. Thank goodness it is easy to keep in touch these days! Good luck to your Burly boy and his family!
Well, This post is beautifully written. Nearly every write-up which you create is gold. Your writing style is eloquent, revitalizing,and fairly interesting.
Well, You always inspire me when I read your postings, and this time was no different. With tears in my eyes I write this this comment to you.
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